


Fairy Tales, part 2

by masquerade97



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-17
Updated: 2017-02-17
Packaged: 2018-09-25 02:32:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9798590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/masquerade97/pseuds/masquerade97
Summary: Alec and Magnus are both worried about taking their relationship to the next step, though for entirely different reasons.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Remember [this thing](http://archiveofourown.org/works/9709214) from a couple days ago? this is a companion to that (i.e., the same story, from Magnus' point of view)

After Alec had been summoned back to the Institute and left with Jace, Magnus found himself restless in the empty loft. It was too quiet, especially after his most recent trip with Alec, and he decided to head down into town to occupy himself.

When he had his drink, Magnus pulled the charm from his pocket and stared down at it. It was such a simple gesture for Alec to have bought it. Alec probably hadn’t even realized the significance of the gesture, but Magnus felt the weight of the gift nonetheless.

“Whatcha got there?” Maia asked, noticing the charm.

“A gift,” Magnus said, not taking his eyes off the object in his hands. He ran his fingers over it again, appreciating again how solid it was, how _real_. “I can’t remember the last time someone bought me one.” He glanced up at Maia, and something in her face changed, became curious. “I’m used to people making demands,” he explained. He could remember so many of them; it was hard to keep track of all of them, even though many of them were the same.

“Reinforce the wards, Magnus,” Magnus said, dropping his voice to mimic the Shadowhunter who had said it to him in the first place. Or maybe the voice he used was simply a generic Head-of-Institute voice.

“Heal my broken heart, Magnus,” he added, this time in a much higher voice. He’d gotten that from exes. From a few mundanes too, who thought he, of all people, would know how to do that; in all his years, he was still trying to find the answer to that request.

“Portal me to Paris, Magnus,” he added again. That one was tougher. He’d gotten that request – and similar ones – from Shadowhunters, from mundanes, from partners. It seemed anyone who knew what a portal was and what it could do wanted to use one.

Magnus dropped his gaze, focusing on Alec’s gift again. He smiled slightly. No, he hadn’t received a gift in a very, very long time.

“Is it from someone special?” Maia asked. She was smiling when Magnus looked up at her, and it was a smile that said she suspected the answer.

“I think so,” Magnus replied, his smile small and tight. He didn’t want to get his hopes up about Alec. He knew that what he felt was strong, and he had a feeling Alec might feel something similar, but there was always the nagging suspicion that Alec would turn Shadowhunter on him, would pull rank and leave, would be frightened off if Magnus pressed him. Just because Alec was special to Magnus didn’t mean it went the other way too.

Earlier that evening, Magnus had made an offhand comment about Cassanova, and he’d regretted it instantly. He could tell Alec was trying to let it go, but ‘trying’ was the key word. Magnus clenched and unclenched his jaw at the thought; he _knew_ not to bring up exes this early in a relationship, and he’d let it slip out anyway. There wasn’t an excuse for it, but Magnus couldn’t deny just how _comfortable_ he was with Alec. It was different than it had been in a very long time, and Magnus was constantly reminding himself that he and Alec hadn’t been together that long. And Alec hadn’t ever been with anyone.

Magnus took another sip of his drink. He debated ordering another, perhaps stronger this time, but ended up deciding against it. Drowning his anxieties wasn’t something he liked to do, and he didn’t want to run into Alec while in any state that would allow him to say something else out of place.

*~*~*~*~*

The loft was still quiet when Magnus returned, but not oppressively so as it had been before. It was pleasant this time, and Magnus lounged on the sofa, enjoying the view. He didn’t know when Alec would be back, or even if Alec was going to come back tonight, so he simply sat and watched the world go by, idly thumbing through a book he wasn’t quite paying attention to.

When he heard the knock on the door, he wasn’t sure whether to expect Alec or Jace. Frankly the thought of it being Jace almost made him pretend to have already gone to bed. Needless to say, when he opened the door and Alec greeted him with a kiss, he was not disappointed.

“What’s this?” Magnus asked, a smile on his face, gripping Alec’s shoulders. “Not that I’m complaining.”

“I think it’s time we take the next step,” Alec said. He seemed so eager, almost giddy. It was definitely not how Magnus was planning on having that conversation.

Magnus felt his face tighten. He tried not to make his uncertainty too obvious. “The sex step,” he said. He ran his hands down Alec’s chest, letting his mind work through the two obvious options he had here as quickly as he could before he forced himself to turn away; he knew he wasn’t going to be able to properly have this conversation if he couldn’t be objective about it, and he was never going to be objective if he could feel Alec’s arms around him.

A confused look crossed Alec’s face. “Is there something wrong?” he asked.

“No,” Magnus said, shaking his head. “I’m just afraid that…” He paused, turning to look at Alec, worried about what Alec’s reaction might be. “I’m afraid that if we take the next step…that I might lose you.”

Alec breathed a sigh of relief. “Magnus,” he said, reaching out to grip Magnus’ shoulders, “you have nothing to worry about.”

Magnus shook his head. “That doesn’t stop one from worrying, as I’m sure you know,” he said. He made to step around Alec, but Alec stepped with him. Magnus cocked his head to one side, studying Alec. This was too much, and the last time Magnus had seen a Shadowhunter press like this, it had been because he was trying to prove something. “Is this something you _really_ want, Alexander?”

Alec drew back, the smile on his face fading. “What do you mean? Of course I want to.”

“You’re pressing. Awfully hard, I might add,” Magnus said. His brow furrowed, and he leaned closer, watching Alec’s reaction for any change.

“No, I _want_ to,” Alec said. He turned and walked to the couch, flopping down gracelessly. “I just-”

“Alexander,” Magnus said, not moving from where he was standing, “what’s bothering you?” He had to work to keep his voice from rising or shaking or changing in any number of ways; he wanted Alec to answer him honestly, and he’d never do that if Magnus pressed to hard.

“The whole,” Alec gestured helplessly, “ _Cassanova_ thing.”

Magnus pursed his lips and looked away. Of course this was about that comment from earlier. It was probably about his whole past. Magnus didn’t think he could feel guiltier about bringing that up earlier that night than he did at that moment.

“I just… I mean – how am I…?” Alec trailed off, shifting his weight uncertainly.

There was a heavy silence between them for a moment. Magnus wanted to make sure he had the right thing to say before he opened his mouth again.

“Say something,” Alec finally said.

Magnus nodded. Raw honesty, then.

“Cassanova,” Magnus said, still nodding before he glanced up at Alec. “Cassanova couldn’t hold a candle to you, Alexander.”

Alec started, his eyes wide in surprise. “He…what?”

“I told you before, it isn’t often that I feel about someone the way I feel about you,” Magnus continued. He turned so he was facing Alec fully, trying to show that he was being sincere.

“I don’t know what you mean,” Alec said, glancing away. He leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees.

“When you were…ill,” Magnus said, gesturing as if he could use his magic to ward off the memory. If only that worked; he hated remembering Alec, unresponsive. “Nothing was working to wake you up.”

“I’ve heard,” Alec said, tracing the rune on the back of his hand.

“No, you haven’t,” Magnus said. He kept his voice firm, not allowing any room for Alec to interrupt him. He took a deep breath to steady himself. “Someone commented on how long it was taking me to wake you up,” he continued. “I told him it wasn’t as easy as waking Sleeping Beauty with true love’s kiss.” Magnus smiled slightly when Alec met his gaze.

“Later, when we had you here instead of at the institute, I could feel you slipping away,” Magnus said. He remembered the feeling well – life was like a fire in people, and when Magnus was looking for it, he could feel its heat. Alec had been cold. “There wasn’t much of you left here, and I’d tried everything else.”

Alec sat up straighter. “Magnus,” he said quietly, disbelievingly.

“True love’s kiss,” Magnus said. The word tasted almost bitter on his tongue. Almost. “Sometimes you get desperate enough to try things like that.”

“You tried…?”

“I did,” Magnus admitted. He stepped closer to the couch and lowered himself slowly beside Alec. “I couldn’t stand to lose you. I don’t know what I was feeling, but I knew that if a kiss would wake you, it would have to come from someone who felt the way I do.”

Alec opened his mouth as if to say something, and promptly closed it again. He glanced away.

“And if it means anything to you, I never felt anything for Cassanova that was strong enough for me to believe I could have woken him.” He watched Alec’s face as Alec mulled over what he had said, willing him to believe what he was saying. Magnus couldn’t even remember the last time he’d thought about Cassanova before tonight.

Alec was silent a moment before he finally looked back at Magnus. “You mean that?” he asked.

“I do.”

“Why…why didn’t you tell me?” Alec asked.

“I didn’t want you to feel pressured to stay with me,” Magnus said. He’d had people do that to him before, and it wasn’t anything he was going to do to Alec. It wasn’t something he was going to let happen to Alec, period. “To…spare my feelings, if you will.” Magnus reached out to take Alec’s hand, squeezing it gently. “I hope…I hope you understand now why I’m afraid to do too much, too soon.”

“Magnus,” Alec said, covering Magnus’ hand with his empty one. “I’m not afraid of what we do. I’m afraid…that I’m not enough.”

“You’re you, Alexander,” Magnus said, smiling slightly. “You’re already enough.” More than enough.

“And you aren’t going to scare me away,” Alec promised, pulling Magnus’ hands closer to himself. “I’m not going anywhere. I _want_ to be here.”

Magnus looked from their joined hands to Alec’s face. He believed Alec was sincere, but there was still the nagging feeling in the back of his mind that Alec would figure something out, would find someone else. There was always the possibility that a relationship with Magnus was simply a novelty for Alec, that he’d change his mind later, and that was what worried Magnus.

“I believe you,” Alec finally said. “You won’t lose me. Not over something like this.” One side of his mouth turned up and he added, “Maybe a demon-”

“Don’t talk like that,” Magnus said, freeing one of his hands to cup Alec’s face, his eyes searching. There was sincerity in Alec’s eyes, a real attempt to dispel tension. And dammit, if Alec was willing to try, then Magnus wouldn’t be able to forgive himself if he held back instead. “I won’t lose you to demons either.”

“You know? I believe that,” Alec said, surging forward to press his lips to Magnus’.

Magnus hesitated for just a moment before he responded. He steadied himself and chose to believe Alec, to believe that this Shadowhunter wasn’t going to be run off. With the thought came a release of tension, and Magnus relaxed against Alec, reaching up to tangle his fingers in his hair.

**Author's Note:**

> please comment! or you [can come talk to me here](http://titlecomingsoon.tumblr.com/ask), either way


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